Bees don't try to convince flies why honey is better than poop or why pollen is better than poop. Anyways, if someone is whining or complaining always and not taking responsibility and if they're dragging you down like a boat anchor, why are you trying to continuously bring them up? If they are constantly dragging you down and pulling you down or sucking the life out of you, sometimes it may be because that can be addictive for a lot of people and most of the time, it's easier to pull people down than to lift people up. If you think about someone standing next to you on a chair, it's a lot easier to pull them down than it is for them to pull you up. So that's why a lot of times it can be easier and it can become addictive for people. There's no fault or blame here, it's just about taking responsibility of the stuff that happens to us. Life is not perfect and I have had a lot of stuff happen to me but I have used that to to build my strength.
Pulling people down can make people feel better about themselves, that's why people are often tripping people or bringing them down or commenting or badmouthing people. It can be always a drag if someone refuses the right to shift and change or they're always complaining or always bringing you down or telling you can't do something or it can't be possible.
If that's affecting you and your happiness, your success, your fulfilling, your energy, then maybe it's time to cut ties or have boundaries at least or reduce dramatically the amount of time you spend with a person. Sometimes you are just spending time with these people or types of people or clients or relationships because you don't have anyone else. If so, you need to let these people go and have an abundance mentality. Your life is like a house, if you want to get rid of all the old furniture, clean the house, paint the rooms. You got to do that before you put in the new furniture and other stuff. Be okay being alone but avoid being lonely and avoid letting someone drag you down and bring you down to the basement. Other side of this is to be careful of people who are too positive and never want to talk about things that bother you or them. If you bring something up that bothers you and they interrupt and talk about themselves or if they never want to talk about something that's clearly bothering them, then that's toxic positivity and that's an issue in itself.
Make your wounds your wisdom and your scars your strengths and you still must address these wounds. Heal, forgive and let it go. Learn and grow from it, otherwise it'll still bother you. It will cause unconscious issues in the form of not getting what you want or repelling things you do want. Keep safe space boundaries with people and create great relationships whether it's with a client or a boss or an employee or a family member or a friend or an intimate one. You are going to have to deal with failure sometimes but learn from it and do the inner work.