8 Oct 2021

How to give advice so people will actually follow it.

James Elliot

Often it's our gut reflex to tell people all the things they should do or you should do this you should do that you shouldn't do this you shouldn't do that and it's often a mistake because well think about it how often do you love being told what to do ?

I mean none of us like being told or like telling someone telling us what to do. So the key is whether you're a mentor or a friend or a boss or a coach or a business leader, whatever it is the key is to expand their horizons ,expand their mind and help them take those blinders off and help them get rid of the tunnel vision so they can see all the options see everything that's available see new options new resources new opportunities see gaps they have again people want to be guided to to their answer or to their solution they don't want us telling them what to do so yes you can lead the witness a little bit if you want to take in a certain direction or you think they're going in a certain direction ,but they're not quite getting there or they're taking a while be careful of leading the witness too much so to speak and and pulling it down a rabbit hole or going in a direction that you think is best for them or that your projections and your brain thinks is best for them only they know what's best for them and we have to respect that so what to do what to do ask great questions asking great questions is the key be introspective and ask well who do you want to be what do you want to become what do you want to accomplish where do you want to go? who is it that you need to be to get there ?who is it or what is it that the task or goal or challenge requires you to be right .Who do you need to be ?

Who does that task or that challenge require you to be? what does that task or challenge require you to have ? And remember it's often not figuring it out all ourselves or not doing it all of ourselves the most successful people in the world have amazing people have amazing teams around them to help them lift them to success no matter what person it is no matter what team it is no matter who it is the most successful people in the world have amazing teams to get them there so just ask great questions ,well what does that do for you? thinking that or not being able to achieve that or wanting that .What does it do for you or what does it make you feel? You could ask also how does that make you feel? But I find what does that make you feel is more introspective how does it make you feel, is going to be short concise answers like well glad or sad or excited or depressed or happy or whatever angry.So what does that make you feel is a little better .Just ask questions be introspective you know what do you want and well what does that do for you or or how do you get that what do you think you need to do what do you need to do that you know you need to do that you're not doing or that you're procrastinating on or hesitating on you can ask them what do you know you need to do such that it'll make you super successful or you'll win or you'll help you complete the task. What do you know you need to do?

And the key question is - What do you need to do most? What you know you must do that you least want to do or that you do not want to do these are some great questions because half the time people know what they want to do. What they should do? What they need to do? Or at least a general guideline on it and then just keep asking great questions.What happens then or then what and how do you get that or what do you have to do ?Who do you have to ask? Who do you have to model? What resources do you need? What gaps are there? What do you have start from now ?What do you have? What experiences expertise? What do you have now? And how can that help you ?

So very infrequently do people want us to say this is what you need to do right and even if we do they're a lot less engaged because they have a lot less ownership if we're telling them what to do versus them coming up with it themselves ,they'll be way more infused to do it and then challenge them create some accountability whether you're a friend or mentor, boss ,coach you name it.

Create some accountability and great !You know Mr Mrs customer or Mr Mrs friend, What do you need to do? and then what consequences are there ? I'll hold you to it you know time or money or energy what consequences are there if you don't do it and then what goals are going to be there .What goals can you have?

Is it a massage or an hour off or going for a walk or treating yourself to something cool or something special that night or the weekend or taking a half day off. What goals and what what rewards are there for when you do it because you want the pokey stick to get them away from what they don't want and you want the reward to pull them towards what they do want.

So next time someone asks you for advice ,someone's down in the dumps,someone you think you want to help - which is great ?I honor you want to help them .Ask questions first, before telling them what to do and if you still need to or want to tell them or suggest things to do make sure you ask those powerful questions first ,because it's going to better equip you to give you the answers that are right for them versus your projections or what you think is best for them or what you would do in their situation .Help them self-discover or at least help them partially self-discover .

Till next time feel free to check out my youtube channel or check out my website unleashyourpower.com training .Check out james unleash your power.com .If you want to chat or my book UNLEASH YOUR POWER. Stand out ,take action and create the success you want.I almost did it again go have your best day ever and I am gonna practice some tongue techniques apparently because I got my mirrors wicked up today.

Have your best day ever go take action and really go ask questions ask great questions by the way in sales or being hired by a company being hired as a consultant as an entrepreneur. Being hired to a business or company asking great questions will get you great results.